Wounds, Scars, Community

I dedicate this post to Amber. ❤

This phase of life is constantly throwing curveballs, a bit of chaos here and there, along with some unexpected love from new friends and neighbors we are getting more acquainted with.  As I’m going through the paces of daily mom-life at home with my guy, I can’t help but notice the contrasts and comparisons I see in myself and others–“I’m not nearly as structured as she is,” or “I definitely don’t make a big deal about a mess like that family just did.”  It’s hard to just sit back and allow everyone to be themselves, including me, when you come to know people and start seeing the differences between lives.  But I think that this process couldn’t be more healthy.  We are each going through our journeys, and the way I see it–God made those journeys so vastly different and allowed our lives to have these varying vantage points because he wanted us to grow and learn from one another no matter what steps we are going through on the journey towards our own path.

I have wounds.  As do you.  As much as we like to think otherwise, we have these pains that we carry deep in our being–nothing can quite shake them, even stubbornly ignoring their presence.  These wounds may be caused by skin color, gender, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, lovers, friends.  These will always occur in life–a realization that is hard for me to come to grips with as a mom.  But they will, and they create a minds eye with which we see the world:  We see those who have hurt us, and we see those who can create loving poultices of care to place over our wounds until they heal more fully.  However, these wounds are quite deep and quite vibrantly given to us, and they often remain as scars–not totally new, fresh perfect healed images–but rather scars that we try to cover and forget.

Now, many of us would rather hide than deal with any of this.  We would rather run far away when we have been hurt and see ourselves hurting others–we want to cover, to mask, and to move on without dealing with any of it in real terms.  We may even seek out people we think will allow us to stay far away from those issues–those who will not ask probing or difficult questions, or challenge our strange ways of living with our darkness.  However, I think that very way of living, that way of being–I think it makes a hole in your heart bigger than you can compensate for with fake shallow friendships and surface level conversations.  I think the only way to overcome your longings for what might have been in an “Adam & Eve perfect” world is to confront them completely–but how do you do that?

I think that within community (if you went to my college, you’re probably laughing right about now.  That was the “buzzword” on campus.  That was the annoying phrase every student felt churning in their brain when they wished it would leave them alone.  It’s all we heard nearly all the time as transfers or as freshmen–and it carried through right into graduation for most people,) you are able to find those missing links to bridge the gap.  You may organically find yourself searching, and finding, people who are genuine and sincere, people who love as Christ loves and meets you where you’re at, because in essence they have the same struggles and pains as you–only perhaps in different areas.  They were not met where they were at.  They were not loved for who they are.  They were told they were never going to be good enough.  So when they see you, who too was told these same things, they have a twinge of pain in their hearts and see the ache in your own.  They realize that you are there, shining with your aloneness like a little star out in a lonely space of sky, and that both of you together have the same thing resonating.  The hunger to feel that you belong.  The ache to feel accepted and wanted and delighted in–to be seen as interesting.  This is what I am finding.

And no stabs at anyone’s family or anyone’s habits of character (we all have our flaws), but as an adult I am seeing that my wounds are being soothed by community because God beckons me towards women in particular who are very gentle and open and cast their arms wide for my grief and my pain.  I am finding that they do not have the same flaws I saw growing up, from those I love, and while they have different ones–they are just what I need.

Community.  What does that word mean to you?  As a new friend I’ve got speaks of community she says: “Here’s all the hairiness and dirt and craziness,” (that’s a paraphrase I’m sure).  It’s true.  If you truly want to have your wounds let go of, if you really want to be free of the bondage in your soul, you cannot isolate yourself and create a bubble of people who are safe enough to talk to, but nice enough not to ever ask the questions you need asked.  You will have to find people who dig into your being and come out with a rock that you didn’t even realize was there.  Sometimes these people we allow into our community may be able to see those things we are hiding even from ourselves.  And it will be gritty and dirty and you will probably get offended, and so will others.  But the beauty of the gospel is that forgiveness and grace we allow others and give to ourselves–on account of the grace we were given.  Community means I trust you.  It means I will share my family, my food, and my fortune (as well as misfortune) with you.  What does that mean?  It means apologies for “super real life,” when kids are screaming and the food gets burned.  It also means we don’t have to offer any apologies because we are already accepted and those things are a real part of our lives ever day.  It means our friends in community understand.  It also means that our friends can become a sort of family we never had–a family in Christ where we can heal and we can talk about our pain from growing up or from different stages that are very difficult.  A family we have because God brings them to us.

I am so thankful that I have been accepted where I am at.  I am so grateful for the agape love of Jesus Christ.  So small was my heart when I first accepted him into my life, and how big and full and hurt and fearful and joyful and sad it has been since that first day I decided to lean on him.  I am so happy to find people here that I can be real with.  Who allow me to talk.  Who listen.  But who also speak truth.  I want my roots to go down deep here.

Just a few things I’ve been thinking about in my blogging absence.

All my love,

-M

Tenacious “Housewives”

Mental hardiness.  Strength.  Tenacity.  (I love that word.  I love how it sounds, and how it rolls off my tongue so deliciously and boldly.) Endurance.  Long-suffering (sometimes).

Things have been falling into a good pattern this new year.  I am happy about that.  A pattern that is more in line with these descriptions.

If you are young, unless you have a close friend who has experienced it themselves or you are currently going through it, you may not know that the transition from singledom to married life to parenthood is not always fluid or glittery like some of hollywood’s fun little portrayals.  Most people seem ill-prepared as I was, for what is to come for them.  Nothing can prepare you.  Nothing.  But I think if we had more people willing to speak of it, that would ease a lot of the heartache.

These actions and life phases are messy, splattered with dirt, grime, and the occasional splatter of heated (truly raging) argument.  Life was extraordinarily hard for us as a newlywed couple (“Newlywed” refers to the first year or so of married life, correct?  Except that’s not always the only definition.  Some people think they’re still newlywed at two years, and others feel the idea has worn off much sooner.  I remember wondering at what point we were no longer considered newlywed.  Now I laugh, because we have an attention-grabbing son and I do not at all think I am newlywed, no hint of it here!) with our getting to understand one another’s patterns and rhythms and communication ways.  With getting to understand what it really means to choose to love someone.  Not just to feel like it.  Because when the cold, hard, scathing reality hits you with a very distinct WHACK on the head, that you are both really screwed up and desperately need to be recreated and redeemed, it will be a choice of staying and loving, or running and running far–hiding away.  I remember very vividly getting into my car and slamming the door, and I’m being vulnerably honest here, having packed a bag of my belongings, and driving to my parents house at least a few times in those early months.  I think once I actually stayed overnight, and I just needed to work things out and get over them.  But many times I just drove partway, and then fickly turned around and we made up and chose to show love to on another.  It was hard–and the difficulties required heartiness in order for us to not continue going back to the same old fights and issues. And things are not that way anymore, they are not all dramatic and painful and ridiculous, misunderstood.  We still have blow ups once in awhile, and this move has been hard on our communication and Troy’s overtime has definitely been an obstacle we’ve had to maneuver around.  And I venture to say it’s more like that picture I just painted for most people than they would like to admit or let on to.  This world is simply too happy to hear the simple, easy version of things, whereas the realities are not so readily boiled down or explained.  People have stories in their marriages that are much more detailed and layered.

There are nuances.  There are crazy realizations.  There are dumb smacks in the face when you start realizing what your spouse actually needed from you (but doesn’t know how to ask for) or what your child had been trying to say in their own (20-month-old) fussy way.

Days can be rough.  The toaster oven can catch fire and the dog can start puking, and you can be just standing there in a tee-shirt and pajama pants, looking as frumpy as can be and as confused and annoyed as the dickens.  Wondering if your life will always be a dog-puke delight.  Wondering if you’ll ever nab a moment to remove that weeks-old chipped nail polish that’s starting to look intentional.  Weeks can be  bone-dry and red-eyed, they can be expletive worthy, they can make you want to just leave everything –but you know what?  They don’t stay like that forever.  It is not an eternal place, as I have seen at least in the last month or so.  I feel there is plenty of hope, even for people who may be emotional, or hormonal, or unstable, or stress-level-through-the-roof individuals as I have been before.  Sometimes you just have to wait it out long enough, I suppose, and get on your knees again.

The hope I am feeling, lately in my journey, is a hearty and steady resilience that is being built up.  Built up by changing dirty diapers, by taking walks in the cold because “dang it, we need to get out!”, by doing load after load of laundry and folding and putting it up, of giving a massage when I want one for myself.  It is channeled through listening when I feel like yelling, by giving another chance when I feel like giving up, by ignoring something irritating when I feel its the last straw.  And as a housewife (I’d rather call myself a house person!  I hate that term.. haha) there is so much to do here, and I think the mental challenge of it all sometimes has gotten me so down.  But instead of even thinking of it, lately, I have just been DOING.  Just do it.  Nike.  So silly.  But really, in just doing things, I have developed some patterns and I think that God is giving me some household tenacity.  Some drive when I was so weary from such little work before.  And I am a hard worker, but giving up yourself and giving up tending to your needs because you have a son and a house to care for, is not for the weak, and I am learning just what it takes to be a “housewife,” as lame and totally boxed-in as that term is.  I have a new respect for those hard working people I know and love, the ones who do the behind-the-scenes marching and grunt-work.  I have a shining admiration for their hearts, for their souls which could so easily turn towards indignation and pride, towards begrudgingly caring for people instead of doing it lovingly, but with Christ’s love and affirmation they selflessly keep going.  They continue to love with the gut-wrenching self sacrifice that is everyday life to them, service to others without complaining.  What does it take to give to others willingly, with no expectations?  That is what Jesus is asking me lately.  And He is telling me that it takes his love.  It takes his heart and his spirit.  Not mine.  Mine could kick everyone to the curb and say “See ya, suckers!”  But His.  His is so amazingly giving and full of delight in it, too.

All this to say, sorry I’ve been away so long, here’s what I’m thinking of.

Just another piece of my life puzzle.  Dark coming into light.

All my love,

-M

Holiday Awry–What To Do?

I say “Awry,” because of this very definition:

adverb & adjective

 1.

away from the appropriate, planned, or expected course; amiss.

“many youthful romances go awry“

And awry our holiday has gone, because you see, our holidays are not as they once were.  It’s gone on an extended stay vacation away, and I seldom believe it will return–anyhow, not in the same way it left.  For me, as a little girl, my holidays consisted of such merriment, as I recall it fondly.  My grandmother would ask me to play a few carols at the piano and some of us might sing, my family would always give “prank gifts” that were hilarious, there was a roaring fire that my grandpa always made (which lasted for hours), and the food was just a gem of a sight when your eyes and tastebuds delighted in it.  The table was set perfectly in order, and it was a family ordeal to create everything as tradition would have it.  The mashed potatoes were always creamy and filled with perfect amounts of butter, the gravy was sumptuous and had nothing lacking as it sat taunting us all in the delicate and beautiful gravy bowl that was used every year.  Grandpa might make the egg noodles, as they were his favorite, and each one of us loved the dinner rolls.  I think my dad and uncle took turns carving the turkey, and arranging it on the platter.  After the meal was over, we would all sit around the table for a long time and hear and tell our own stories.  Grandpa laughed uproariously, and how I miss my grandma’s laughter as well.  When I got bored of listening to the adults talk, I would usually venture downstairs to see what mischief my cousins and I could get into.  As over-the-top as my memories of these holidays gone by may be, they are treasures to me since they are no more.

I always have to mourn a little bit, because I will allow myself that each year–not for a long time, but to acknowledge things as they are now.  In 2007, in the summertime before I graduated high school, my grandma died after a battle with cancer.  I have tried not to think of this in a terrible, “Why? Why?” sort of way anymore, but in a way that says, “This is how it ended, and this is how it was.  I need to try to remember her and make her proud with my own legacy.  Remember her for what we did have, not for what she had to miss (things like the birth of my first child, my wedding day, etc.)–remember the egg hunts, the long conversations, going to church together and hearing her sing loudly, her amazingly special way of making everything so damn memorable.  Really.  That’s the only way I have to describe it.  She had ways of doing things that were “just so,” and you can’t emulate it even if you try to make it a science.

So anyhow, she passed away, and we all seemed to realize that she was the thick glue holding our family together.  Since then, things slowly deteriorated I feel.  They are awkward and strained, to this day, with relationships and with holidays.  Because we know our holidays just won’t be what we thought, no matter what.

But not only did she pass away, but a few years afterward our family was the recipient of some horrible treatment, and some horrible actions that are difficult to swallow for everybody–me being one of the least affected, and I am still staggering from the blow.  My grandfather passed away a few years ago, (honestly, I try to block all of that out and I don’t even remember the day and the year that he died–I think it was a November) and we are left with a gaping chasm of a  hole in our hearts.  I did not go to the funeral for many reasons–but the first of which being that it was also the day of our important first ultrasound appointment.  I will not talk about the circumstances surrounding his death, and the things that occurred prior, in respect for the honorable man we remember him to be, but I will say this: Nobody should have to die alone, without their family.  Their REAL family.  Not some made up fantasy that someone told to take advantage of another.  And through tragedy, and I mean tragedy brought upon us by other people purposefully–not tragedy that happens naturally such as a death, we have grieved and we have tried to make sense.

What does this all mean for me?  What the hell do I do with this loss?  It is a huge symbol of the grace of God & the broken creation which we live in–and I will continue to hold it as so in my mind.  It was and still is an image peeking back in me, of paradise lost.  This is never how God intended relationship to be.  One strained painful thing after another?  No.  One massive slap in the face from individuals who claim to be “Christians,” but act like vipers?  No.  Taking advantage of others bad circumstances as much as is possible for humans to do?  Hell no.  God meant for us to have community, and we chose our own way.  We chose the freedom that God allowed us and wanted us to have, so that we may also freely love him if we choose that path.  And through it all Jesus is there, telling me that his wounds and his blood are enough.  That the crown of thorns on his head is enough for me, and the slaps from a whip on his back are enough for me.  Enough to cover this.  Enough to really cover a personal family tragedy, a story of pain and of hatred and of sorrow for what was lost.  And I have to continually ask him, “Really, Jesus?  Really?  Are you enough?  Are those wounds enough?”  I’m sure it is hard for him to hear me always asking.  How I love him, this patient Savior.  Listening to my doubt as one might hear a child questioning gravity, or other known facts.

In a new heaven and a new earth, there will be no more sorrow.  There will be no more gnashing of teeth, or mourning.

I rejoice in that, and I rejoice that my Good God never wanted to put humans through this kind of pain.  He never wished this for us in his grand plan of creation.

-M

Raw Milk

Snippets of my day–our adventure out in the wilderness, more plainsy area of CO, visiting a farm and securing our share of a cow. I wasn’t sure if my GPS was working correctly, but we arrived exactly where we should’ve. Way out there! I instantly liked Michelle, and I instantly loved Petunia (“our cow”). Michelle seems super knowledgable and friendly, while maintaining a fast-paced sort of down-to-business style which I would expect of anyone living on a farm and truly tending animals.  Her husband is Serbian, which I thought was really interesting, and their little one year old daughter was precious.  Buying a share of this cow, who is the only cow (well, only adult cow, she has a cute baby that was born this August!) on the farm, means that we pay a fee every month, and we get a gallon of raw milk each week.  In exchange for our money, we get the milk, but we also have our cow taken care of, boarded, and generally maintained (along with all the things of taking the cow out to pasture, etc.).  I’d say that’s a great way for two noobs to start with this homesteading thing.

This trip was special, and also important, to me.  Leading a life that is different, because I believe God has called Christ-followers to be stewards of the earth, has been one of my greatest hopes.  Searching and researching and gathering has been a huge part of the equation–today I saw some fruit of my labor.  I have been trying to hunt down raw milk for our family for over a year.  I know, I know, some of you reading may be rolling your eyes or gagging–thinking that raw milk isn’t good for you, healthy, or even sanitary for human consumption.  Sorry, suckers, but you’ve been had by the sly ways of the American Marketing Machine.  : )  Before you start your second round of gagging, please take a moment to explore what the internet may have to say about raw milk.  Just judging from what I knew about it prior to my own investigation, your assumption may be biased and based solidly in falsehood.  Does it make much sense that in order for humans to consume the milk a cow produces (which is packed full of healthful things like CLA, enzymes, etc.) we have to heat it up (which, even the FDA admits, denatures and ruins many of the vitamins present in cow’s milk), change the molecular structure of the fat (homogenization) and strip it of most, if not all fat?  Hmm.  I think that I smell a rat.  At any rate, please check out one of the below links if you’d like to learn more.  I’ve found for myself and my family, the less processed things are, the better they seem to taste, to make my body feel, and the more sustainable they are!

http://www.realmilk.com (a lovely little off-shoot of the WAPF)

Raw Milk Reality: Is Raw Milk Dangerous?

http://raw-milk-facts.com

Raw milk is much more environmentally (and animal!) friendly when compared to processed, American-style milk that you’d get at your closest superstore–on account of it meaning that most of the dairies only have a few cows (ours only has two… Petunia, and her little baby Bambi… yeah, the names.. I know!), and so they are able to fully care for, love on, and keep clean operating standards running.  They tend their animals, and they aren’t packing them neck and neck with the next cow, so that they are rolling in their own feces all day and don’t have room to breathe.  Nutritionally, it’s far and away off-the-charts when compared to conventional.  Cows at a conventional dairy are eating grains.  Loads of them, and GMO-nonetheless.  GMO, as we all know=nasty.  Unhealthy.  Fake.  Anyhow, cows from a raw-milk dairy are most likely eating grass as much as available, and in the colder months eating things like alfalfa hay, and non-GMO feed and additives (barley, field peas, etc.).

If you care about what you eat, and if you make it a science to understand where your food is coming from, how it’s raised and handled, how it is impacting other aspects of this world, then I suggest you research the idea of raw milk yourself.  It’s every person’s opinion on whether they think it’s absolutely unsafe or something they’re willing to try to gain health–we all have those choices, and I have been pretty much disgusted with the rampant malicious greed coming from all sectors of our nation’s national food producers (both fast-food and farm-based).  So this is the answer for me: small farm, small scale living, etc.  I love it.

I was absolutely encouraged today by meeting Michelle and her farm and family.  It reminded me of really hard work for an important purpose–self sufficiency and sustainable stewardship.  It really made me feel like maybe one day I could make this dream a reality as well.  Who knows.  Maybe it’ll start out with a cow on my front lawn.  Maybe it won’t.  Maybe I will name that cow Cleopatra like I told my husband, maybe I won’t. Either way, meeting people living a completely different lifestyle than most intrigues and excites me.

All my love,

-M

Friday Faves!

Here I am again, posting our faves on Saturday! But better late than never. 🙂 Have a look at this weeks fun Friday favorites–I hope you enjoy peeking into our lives.

I’ve been reminiscing on some of our travels and fun times this week. We collect these pub glasses and will surely add to our stash as time goes on. They remind us of where we’ve been and what we were enjoying and doing when we acquired them. Plus, they’re just fun. 😉

August simply cannot get enough of “Brown Bear, Brown Bear,” this week! I’m more than happy to consent when he points to it and eagerly smiles and waits to see if I will indeed peruse the pages with him a second or third time that day. I love his enthusiasm! Carle has always been a favorite of mine with his unique illustrations. August loves the sounds and colors on each page, and I enjoy seeing his eyes light up as he recognizes the cat and dog. They are his primary focus right now because he has daily interactions with kitties and doggies, so he easily identifies them and accompanies the reading with lots of “woof woof!” And “mowww mowww” sounds. So funny! So cute.

As many a parent would admit, sleep is one of the downsides of this phase of life. No matter what, I have felt drained most mornings when I arise. Once I began wearing this sleep mask, however, I felt a bit better. I also noticed that it became more easy for me to fall asleep quickly. I read this article, http://wellnessmama.com/3531/is-your-sleep-ruining-your-health/ , and realized why I always felt annoyed that there was so much light filtering in from the street lamps close to our house. My body was instinctively telling me that I wouldn’t be doing it much good trying to rest like that, as the light inhibits melatonin production. Completely fascinating! Check it out, I feel this mask has helped immensely even though little guy awakens regularly these nights. Oh, and don’t ask me about the “forever blue” monogram. I have no idea what that’s about!

Last but not least, my mother in law gave us a juicer recently, and it’s awesome. I love having it as a quick immune boost and cleansing helper in our arsenal of natural food stuffs. Carrot juice has to be my favorite. I’ve also made a mean beet and berry combo that tasted great, not too bitter and just a hint of sweetness added to the beet’s earthy flavors. Yum! So we’re all enjoying this juice man jr., even August really likes it.

That’s all for now, have a great weekend!

All my love,

-M

The Starfish

This story has been told time and time again by many speakers, teachers and parents I’m sure. Today I was reminded of it, and how true a story it is for my own life. Many of the efforts in my life may seem unimportant to others, or so unknown to some–but I want to live my life as though it can make a difference. One person’s passions are another’s inspiration.

“An old man had a habit of early morning walks on the beach. One day, after a storm, he saw a human figure in the distance moving like a dancer. As he came closer he saw that it was a young woman and she was not dancing but was reaching down to the sand, picking up a starfish and very gently throwing them into the ocean.
“Young lady,” he asked, “Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?”
“The sun is up, and the tide is going out, and if I do not throw them in they will die.”
“But young lady, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it? You cannot possibly make a difference.”
The young woman listened politely, paused and then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves,
saying, “It made a difference for that one.”
The old man looked at the young woman inquisitively and thought about what she had done. Inspired, he joined her in throwing starfish back into the sea. Soon others joined, and all the starfish were saved.”

Emotion

Running high,
Running low.

Feeling faint,
About to blow.

Whispering.
Listening.

Emotion out,
Emotion in.

Feeling deeply with every breath,
Feeling so very cold like death.

Emotions ruling high command,
Emotion can just to take my hand.

Whether near or distant far, whether strong or weak and marred.
Whether barely scraping by, whether rich and starry-eyed.

My emotion, keep to the path,
My emotion, holding back.

Screaming out, pounding loud,
Trying ever calmly now.

Dying. Living. Trying. Giving.

Emotion. Sedation. Elusive. Containment.

Breathe. Look. Weep. Sleep.

Awaken. Mistaken. Guided. Reflection.

Alive.  Well.  Alive.  Unwell.

Emotive.
–M

Friday Faves (a day late)

Happy Weekend from August and I

Here I am, writing my Friday favorites post on Saturday. I told you being consistent was not my shining star attribute, but I’m giving it my best anyhow. 🙂 We have a few interesting and fun things to share with you this Friday post. I hope they will pique your interest and help you feel a little creative. I am a sharer, so I always like talking about what I have found of started doing for our family, what has added to our lives lately.

An Artsy Celebration! Troy and I celebrated three years of marriage this week, and at first it wasn’t going to be anything to speak of. The guys were both sick with some gross virus thing and I was definitely down in the dumps. But we made a comeback and were able to enjoy ourselves this Friday night at the Third Degree Glass Factory. Troy had the idea because, as he recalled, the glass factory has a fun open house the third Friday of each month. We were in luck, and able to go along with half the city of St. Louis to enjoy the festivities. There were Mojitos, flame throwers, a band playing lots of Beatles songs, free henna tattoos, and glassmaking demos among other things. With a glass in my hand, it was so nice to relax and enjoy being together without our little dude there in the middle of the action. I felt creative and appreciative of the city life and all the diversity available therein. Our lives have also held a lot more stress than usual these past months, and our marriage and relationship needs these kinds of outings so that we can breathe and look one another in the eye with that spark of joy and excitement that we had often in the past. We were thankful my parents agreed to watch their cute little grandson. (We didn’t have to bribe them to do it, haha!)

Farmer’s Market Fresh

The farmer’s market in our town is one of the small pleasures I cherish and look forward to in the area. I feel at home there. I am familiar with the vendors and always happy to know that many of the growers do uncertified organic. I got this awesome “chocolate mint” and proceeded to make a mint simple syrup from it. I also purchased a few yellow summer squash that were excellently flavored and tender when sautéed with coconut oil. We loved eating them!

Gelatin?
So I read about making Sour Gummy Stars over at Mommypotamus (http://www.mommypotamus.com/homemade-gummy-stars/) and just fell in love with the idea of making my own healthy fun treats for the fam. Plus when you read about consuming gelatin, it can do loads of good for your body including helping to maintain hair and skin health. Count me in! I made this recipe and just used the normal ice cube trays we have, but next time I’d like to get some cute molds. This is the kind of gelatin I picked up from our health store.

Water Kefir
My latest funky and entertaining crunchy project: making and perfecting water kefir! If you’ve never heard of it before, it’s a probiotic drink that’s great for your body.

Similar to Kombucha in its properties, water kefir is made by using kefir grains (I ordered some organic grains on Amazon from Keysands Water Kefir and I am very pleased with the quality of these babies!) and feeding them sugar water. They then basically ferment the water (the grains are actually beneficial bacteria that digest sugar) and leave it full of good guy bacteria that we want to consume for a healthy gut. The first batch I made was alright–nothing special. The second was a bit better. Now after a little more research and watching some great videos from http://www.culturesforhealth.com I have finally achieved a really yummy, and even carbonated batch! I sweeten with either dried unsulphored Papaya or a little apple juice, and I’ve been adding mint sprigs. Quite refreshing, and a natural water soda. Yummy!!! This process is much faster (only two days to culture) than making a batch of Kombucha, and I would recommend starting with this and moving to Kombucha even. Hubby still prefers the flavor punch of the ‘Booch, and I think I do to some extent too.

Last but not least…

Simple Fruit/Veg Snack Tray

So I washed and kept this tray that my parents brought to Augusts birthday party, and have filled it with fruits and veggies and dip in the middle section so that our fam has a variety of quick yummy things to snack on. It’s been helpful so I thought I’d share! I love just reaching into the fridge and having a nice big assortment in front of me.

There you have it! Enjoy the weekend.

All my love,

-M

In The Sun

I love spending time outside and enjoying my family–and since August was sick for the past few days (poor guy had a high fever and was in some pain but we never quite knew what the deal was) today was the day to celebrate that he’s feeling better mostly and that he’s ready to play it up! This momma had to get to the grocery stores, so we made a pit stop and took a peaceful nature walk on one of the bike trails. On the trail, I didn’t even feel like I was in the Midwest anymore (a good thing 🙂 and was surprised at how many solo people and families were on the trail biking on a Tuesday. The trail was hopping, and August loved it. The sun on our skin, the breeze in our hair… We had not a care in the world for at least twenty minutes. I was able to unwind my brain and allow it to freely be itself–to dream, to hope, to smile at people passing us by. To have a few moments that were mine. Even while August was right there with me, we were enjoying the natural scene separately and quietly. Sometimes that’s a nice change.

We went to get produce, and this happened:

So funny!!!! I had given him the Avo to hold, and he had taken it upon himself to test it out. Also, my little dude was a Prince Charming wherever we went. It takes me by surprise sometimes because I can forget just how much he usually loves to be social. So many people exclaimed "he's just smiling so sweetly at me!" He was called beautiful and pretty at least a few times– I'll take it. 🙂

So we had a fairly fun, sunny and semi-adventurous day. We ended it at a park after the hubby got off work–and it was a good way to settle down and just enjoy the moment. Being active and watching our little guy take in his world in a way that only a child can. Not to mention some great father-son bonding!

Needless to say, we’re trying to enjoy life where it is, where we’re currently at in the journey. Not always easy, but we’re searching for things that still make our hearts swell with joy and trying each day to remember thankfulness. We know we won’t be in a dry and weary place all our lives, this is a season and much has happened.

All my love,

-M

Friday Favorites

Some weeks you feel as though you’ve been through a whirlwind. This week was one of those and we were whisked around in a turbulent vortex of air, tossed and turned this way and that. Landing in random and strange places that we didn’t expect to be, and then becoming whisked away once more as soon as we gained our footing! Agh! What a week indeed. I could never have imagined the events that transpired. I’m certain that’s where faith bridges the gap. We’re all alright, and we’ve made it through, and divine providence will keep us sane.

Though it’s nuts over here, I managed to keep track of a few favorite things that piqued our interest and made the days enjoyable. Here they are!

Stitcher!

Hubby and I adore this app, which keeps you in tune with the things you enjoy and the topics you want to know about. It “stitches” your radio station together, so to speak, so that you get your own customized content. Fabulous.

Growin’ Stuff

We have blossoming tomato plants, and hopefully soon ripe tomatoes to eat! I also did a fun experiment with re-growing celery stalks after we had chopped them off and eaten them, and was delighted to see that it actually does work. It’s amazing what will regrow if given the opportunity! I learn more each day. The celery began as just shoots sitting in our window indoors. And look at it now! August and I water them all nearly every day, and love looking at the new growth and feeling the leaves together. How I love nature.

You Version

This app has just blessed me in numerous ways–especially with the “parenting by design” devotion I am currently reading. The stories and reminders help to re-focus my efforts on a daily basis toward heaven. I love the way the writer brings creativity, grace, and non-conformity into the picture. Soul food.

An Organic Conversation

I love love love this podcast with intelligent talk and down-to-earth everyday life applicable topics. The hosts are humorous, thoughtful, and cover a host of issues ranging from “nature deficiency syndrome” and it’s symptoms–encouraging and reminding me to connect with the natural world, to discussing which produce is in season and what the best methods of preparation, selection, and storage are. I am always inspired by the amount of research, love, and passion that the hosts put into the show and how dedicated they are to spreading a love for real food and the green earth to all they can. It’s gotten me through many long walks and dish-washing or laundry sessions, and Troy enjoys it thoroughly as well. We are always eager to learn more!

Mmm, Noosa

Last, but absolutely not least, is this delicious stuff!! Please pick it up and gobble it down while slowly savoring each flavorful, mouth-watering bite. We fell in love instantly, it’s easily the best yogurt we’ve had so far!

Those are our favorites this week! Hope your weekend will be enjoyable and spent with those you love most.

All my love,

-M